I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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