I accidentally had phone sex last night
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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