Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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