Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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