I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
