How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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