Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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