Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
