he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
