She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
