Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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