If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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