A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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