talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
