sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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