my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
