found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
