He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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