Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize