lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
