Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
