If i come over, it means nothing
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
