I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
