I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
