How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
