I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
