I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
