I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
