There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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