walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
