I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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