How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
