Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
