see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
