what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
