If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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