that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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