i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
