we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
