WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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