this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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