remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
