Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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