I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
do nipples grow back?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
