A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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