i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
