i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
