The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
