I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
