Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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