nut hugger
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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