Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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