once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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