The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I deserve this hangover.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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