i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
