omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
